CAN IT GET ANY WORSE!

A rich American man was picked up by his chauffeur at the airport after a long business trip. The man asks his chauffeur what has been happening in his absence. "Well, sir, I'm afraid Roily the dog died after he ate some burnt horseflesh. The stables burnt down after your mansion was consumed by fire." "Fire?" exclaimed the man. "Yes, sir," replied the chauffeur hesitantly, "The fire was caused from candles around the coffin of your dear mother, who died of a heart attack when she found out her husband, your stepfather, had run off with your wife." Uncomfortable with the silence that followed, the chauffeur added, "Apart from that, no news I can think of." In Brussels, Belgium, a woman was on the bus when she thought she recognised a man sitting a few seats in front of her. "Hello, Frank," she called, but the man didn't turn around. She calls out several more times, but the man still failed to turn around. Finally, with everybody else on the bus looking at her, she went over and tapped the man on the shoulder. "Frank," she began, but stopped when the man turned around. Realising that she didn't know the man after all, she said, "Sorry, I thought you were the man I lost my virginity to," and, red-faced, she got off the bus.

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