PUNK BABY

Back in the Seventies, a young punk woman was in the maternity wing of St Thomas's Hospital in south London. When it was time, the pink-mohicaned anarchist was taken into the delivery room and attended to by a midwife and a doctor. The woman was screaming in pain and the midwife told her to calm down while the doctor had a look. The doctor was mildly amused to see that the woman had died her pubic triangle green. He also noticed that she had a tattoo just above, but because of her pregnant state the writing was all distorted. Curious and trying to make small talk to calm her down, the doctor asked her what it said. The woman stopped screaming, stared at him and then said gruffly, "It says 'Keep off the grass', dunnit?" Soon after, the woman gave birth to a healthy, pink baby boy.

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