PORKIE PIES

An American couple planned to go to Colombia for a two-week holiday and sought the advice of a friend who was always showing off his language skills and bragging about all the countries he had been to. He gave them tips on where they should go and on here to stay, and also taught them a few key phrases in Spanish. The couple took a room in a hotel and then went out for some food. After finally selecting a restaurant, the man decided to try out the Spanish phrases their friend had taught them. When he asked the waiter for the menu, the waiter just stared at him before running off and coming back with the manager. The man repeated the phrase to the manager. Again, the response was startled stares, before they ran off and came back with the chef. The chef asked the man in English: "Why do you think the manager owns a pig — and why in God's name, if he did, do you think he would want to have sex with it?"

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