IN YOUR FACE

During the war in former Yugoslavia, a British soldier based in Sarajevo received a package from home. Instead of a letter, it contained a video with the message "To my dear husband. Hope you and your mates enjoy this. Your loving wife." One evening, with a bit of wrangling, the man finally gained access to a VCR and invited his colleagues along to watch the film. As he and his mates had hoped, it turned out to be an amateur porno film. The star was a young woman who, to the delight of the soldiers, was wearing a British Army combat uniform complete with a balaclava hat that covered her head and face - except, that is, for holes for her eyes, nose and mouth. As the film progressed, the woman removed all her clothing except the balaclava and proceeded to have energetic sex in a wide variety of positions with several young men. As the film neared the end, the woman sat up and finally removed the balaclava. Looking straight into the camera, she demanded: "Will you give me a divorce now, you bastard?" The soldier broke down as he recognised his wife on film.

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