PEEP HOLE

A man was plastering the wall of his lounge when he inadvertently made a hole in the wall. Possibly because he hadn't had sex in over a year, the man decided to use the hole for wholly self-gratifying ends. Smearing the edges with grease, he was just reaching climax when a deep thrust caused him to burst through the wall. On the other side, an octogenarian grandmother was engrossed in Coronation Street when she spotted what looked like a snake on the wallpaper. The DIY man ended up in hospital after the grandmother smashed his manhood with a bible in a bid to squash a dangerous snake.

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